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Dealing with Worry

So, you have taken the plunge and made an appoinment but you cannot stop worrying about it. What can you?

It has been said that there is no point in worrying about something you have control over, because if you have control then there is no point in worrying. There is no point in worrying about something that you do not have control over, because if you don't have control over it then there is no point in worrying about it. So that covers everything you could worry about.

Worry refers to negative self-talk that distracts you from focusing on solutions to the problem at hand. Worry is generally about "What if's" so start by identifying them, then split them into the one's that:

1) You have control over
2) You do not have control over

With the one's that you do not have control over you MUST ensure that you have enough confidence that you can handle those things. If you do not have this confidence then you have to work out what needs to happen to give you that confidence.

With the things that you do have control over you MUST ensure that you have taken all of the steps you can to give you the confidence that you can handle those things. Again, if you do not have this confidence then you have to work out what needs to happen to give you that confidence.

Once you are confident that you can handle things then you will find that you will not worry about them.

So Let's look at an example.

"What if this dentist embarasses me about the state of my teeth"

Do YOU have control over this .... No

Are you confident that the way the dentist will handle this will work for you ..... No (because you don't know how he will handle it)

Then this is why you are worrying about this particular example, because you don't know the outcome and as a result you cannot know if you can handle the situation. As you do not know that you can handle the situation then you will start to invent the dreaded "What if's" and have you noticed that generally the "What if's" are negative

For example how many times have your "What if's been"

"What if I knew the  dentist wouldn't embarass me about the state of my teeth"
"What if it doesn't hurt"
"What if the dentist understands  me"
"What if when I want the dentist to stop they will do"
"What if I believed I could do this"

How different would you feel if these where your "What If's"?

No amount of worrying will change a single thing.  As Earl Nightingale said in "only 8% of your worries are worth concerning yourself about" Using the strategy outlined above you will enable you to deal with that 8%.

Worried about something? It helps to talk. If you have any questions about things you are worried about why not ask them in the Discussion Group

Quotes about worry

The Fog of Worry
Things that never happen: 40 percent. That is, 40 percent of the things you worry about will never occur anyway. Things over and past that can't be changed by all the worry in the world:
30 percent. Needless worries about our health:
12 percent. Petty, miscellaneous worries: 10 percent.
Real, legitimate worries: 8 percent. Only 8 percent of your worries are worth concerning yourself about. Ninety-two percent are pure fog with no substance at all.
Earl Nightingale.

Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.
Glenn Turner

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
Swedish Proverb

As a rule, what is out of sight disturbs men's minds more seriously than what they see.
Julius Caesar

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.
Michel de Montaigne

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.
Josh Billings

Only man clogs his happiness with care, destroying what is with thoughts of what may be.
John Dryden